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I know… I’m a broken record

I was talking to Trevor last night, and I said “Remember back when Knox was actually sleeping through the night? What happened??”

This is the great, unanswerable question, apparently.

I thought I had this whole night-time parenting thing down pat when he was sleeping from 8 to 6 at around six months old. And then, reality struck. Knox decided: “Hey, sleeping is for losers… Let’s play ALL THE TIME!!!” Oy. That’s when the night turned into the bane of my existence. I seriously dread bedtime. Every. Single. Day. I was telling Trevor, it’s not even so much the lack of  sleep because I have become accustomed to running on very little- it’s the lack of alone time. I feel like a huge jerk, but I want to scream at the sound of Knox waking up for the umpteenth time a night because all I want to do is sit by myself and look at the new “Better Homes and Gardens.” I never thought that reading a magazine for 15 minutes would turn into an impossible task. Letting him cry, as we have established, does not work because not only do I hate it, but he throws up after five minutes of it.

It’s not that I don’t adore this child with every fiber of my being, because I obviously do. I mean, y’all have seen this blog, right? I prayed constantly for him before he was even here, and I still thank God all throughout the day for bringing him into my life. I truly believe that he is the greatest blessing I have ever been given. But I do not think it’s wrong for me to want him on a normal sleeping schedule so that I can have some R&R. Especially after months and months of this. I am hoping DESPERATELY DREAMING  that weaning helps with this situation. Because seriously? If he could be soothed by Trevor when he woke up, that would rock. At the present, all he wants is me. Well, that’s not even true, all he wants are my boobs. Let me just say it: I am sick of being a pacifier. I feel like my nipples are going to be an inch long before this is all over with because they’re used way too often.

If we have another kid, we’re using a pacifier. No joke. Mama needs some sleep.

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  • Reply Betsy

    i hear ya. ive been a lurker for a bit, but love your blog!
    My 15 month old still gets up almost every night 1-3 times, and from 10 min-2 hours at a time. i hate bedtime i always say its like the worst part of having a newborn But it’s good birth control! (shes amazing other than the no sleeping thing)(and we’ve tried every book, solution, etc. I’ve even emailed sleep Drs!)

    January 24, 2011 at 11:18 am
  • Reply Erica S

    Parenting is hard. NO doubt about it. I am having sleeping issues with my THIRD. Just because I have 3 doesn’t mean I have it all figured out. Each child is so different and they each have their likes/dislikes so you have to learn all over again with each one. It will get better though. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow night, but eventually it will. As they say, “this, too, shall pass.” But, like everything else, you get one thing figured out and handled only to have something else come up that makes you go, “HUH????” Just wait until you pottytrain. Ugh.

    I completely hear you on the “alone time” thing. I HAVE to have alone time. I am a WITCH if I don’t get some “me” time. Being around a child(ren) all day, every day is HARD. I wouldn’t want my life to be any other way and I am truly blessed to be able to stay at home and have a husband whos job allows me to be able to do so, but it’s hard. I love my children more than words could ever say, but it’s okay for me to want to be just “Erica” sometimes. I don’t feel the least bit guilty feeling that way either. :)

    January 24, 2011 at 11:40 am
  • Reply EvC

    Hi! I have commented before on this issue, because my son, who is almost 18 months now, was the SAME way. I could have written your posts. Like you – CIO was not for us, our little guy was super active, wanted to nurse all night, etc. etc.

    I started weaning after Christmas (really by that point he was only nursing at night anyway) and honestly, it made a WORLD of difference. My husband and I started alternating doing the bedtime routine, so that helped a little with the weaning (obviously our son knew if Daddy was putting him down there would be no nursing). It was super hard for me when it was my night. What worked for us was replacing nursing with reading (he loves books!) So I would say “No, you don’t need that, let’s read a book instead” – yes, there were some tears, but usually he was tired enough that he would give in, grab and book and cuddle up.

    It took a few weeks, BUT – once we were weaned, he “magically” started sleeping in his crib for 10+ hours. It took consistency for sure though.

    It will happen! Good Luck :-)

    January 24, 2011 at 12:21 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      Oh my gosh, you give me hope! Knox also LOVES books, so we are incorporating story time into his bedtime routine hoping it helps calm him down. I don’t know what I would do if he slept for 10 hours… probably die of shock. LOL.

      January 24, 2011 at 12:38 pm
      • Reply EvC

        We were in total shock, and even ran in his room to check on him! Honestly, we just let him pick out book after book, and after maybe 6 or so, we shut the light off and start singing his goodnight song (Silent Night), and he immediatly puts his head on our shoulder and settles in. We are even at the point where we can put him down awake and he just falls asleep on his own. If you had told me two months ago we would be here, I wouldn’t have believed it.

        Maybe for our little guy it was just an “all things in good time” type of thing, but whatever, I’ll take it – and the sleep we are now finally getting!!

        January 24, 2011 at 1:03 pm
  • Reply Kristy

    Ugh. Sorry to hear that. But my first thought was, NO paci??? You’re awesome to have never resorted to it. I’ve been incredibly fortunate that Paxton sleeps really well (most of the time), but I can’t imagine life with no paci. BUT, I don’t look forward to the day when we have to ditch it, which is looming. :)

    January 24, 2011 at 12:21 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      I didn’t want him hooked on a paci, but now I realize that he got hooked on me, instead! I think a paci is a better alternative!

      January 24, 2011 at 12:39 pm
  • Reply Erin

    I hear you! I got that book that people recommended “The No Cry Sleep Solution” and I think there are some great things in there but we are in the same boat. My little boob monster, lovable as he may be needs to go to Boobies Anonymous with Knox and talk it out there . . . maybe one day our boobs will get a break and we can read magazines together while getting a pedicure in silence 😉 SIGH!

    January 24, 2011 at 12:29 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      Sounds glorious! We have the “No Cry Sleep Solution,” and I do love the book and a lot of the suggestions.

      LOL at Boobies Anonymous… if only that were a real thing.

      January 24, 2011 at 12:39 pm
  • Reply Cindy

    First of all, I love your blog. I follow tons of people and will skim over what I want to read, but if you’ve written a new post, I read it as soon as I see it. Anyway.

    About the paci, my hubby and I were all “I don’t want him hooked on it” and stuff. Then in the hospital, he came back into our room in the morning (from the nursery) WITH A PACIFIER. Great. So I thought it was the end of the world because I wanted to be the one to introduce it to him (if we decided to use it). But you know what? I strongly believe that babies NEED to suck. I could not believe how much he just calmed down when he had it. And I don’t mean he would scream and scream and then magically stop when he got the pacifier, I just mean that he would relax so much as soon as it was in his mouth. If nothing was wrong and he was just restless and a little fussy, the pacifier did the trick. In the middle of the night (he’s 6 months now) the pacifier is all he needs, and he’s back to sleep in a few minutes. (I’ve been really fortunate though with his sleeping habits. As in I’ve gotten up TWO TIMES to feed him at night total from week 8 until now.) Just wanted to give you my opinion about pacifiers. Now that he’s 6 months old, he doesn’t have it all the time. And he’s ok with that. I don’t know what it will be like when we try to take it away, but I think he’ll just adjust pretty easily. He’s pretty laid back like that.
    Good luck to you though, I’m sure this can be so frustrating!
    Also, if you haven’t yet, check out The Poop Whisperer. Today’s topic: Sleep training. (

    January 24, 2011 at 12:58 pm
  • Reply ~A

    That must be so frustrating! If I lived closer and you actually knew me in person, I’d come over and watch Knox so you could read “Better Homes!” LOL. Stick with it- You can do this!

    January 24, 2011 at 1:59 pm
  • Reply Laura

    Ugh! I feel for you. I really do! In hopes that this may help (or maybe just give you hope), I’m including a link to another blog I follow. Ashley has been doing sleep training with her little girl, Ryann, who has also been a challenge to get to sleep through the night. They’re having success, finally.

    January 24, 2011 at 6:16 pm
  • Reply amy

    Hey Jess

    I feel for you and feel the need to have some time to yourself. I know for a fact you have it together way more than I. I crave for time to myself so much that I rarely get my house cleaned, etc. I just want to hang out after I put him down. My child also slept for many many months. About a week before his 1st birthday, he stopped. He woke up several times a night, etc. He was having ear problems, etc. Now he’s got tubes….and still not sleeping, so I feel you on that. Good luck finding time for yourself and this too, shall pass.

    January 24, 2011 at 9:22 pm
  • Reply Bethany

    I feel for you. My son had major sleep issues up until he was 8 1/2 months. Things are definitely better, but I still have major anxiety at night if I hear anything come from him. I walked around like a zombie and there wasn’t a darn thing I can do about it. So I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling! Hang in there! You are doing the best job and it will work out eventually.

    P.S. My son wouldn’t take a pacifier until he was 5 months old (5 hard months). When he started it was a LIFE SAVER. Seriously, the best thing ever. Changed our world. I can’t believe I ever questioned even using one. To each is own, but I am not leaving the hospital next time without our next baby using one!!!!

    January 24, 2011 at 11:43 pm
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