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The End.

As of right now, I am no longer a breast feeding mom. After the worst night of sleep ever, we made a command decision not to let this drag on any longer. I took Knox to the doctor to make sure he didn’t have an ear infection considering he is waking up screaming bloody murder several times a night. He doesn’t. I talked with our pediatrician for a long time about his sleep (or lack thereof). He said it’s totally fine to let him go cold turkey- the gradual weaning is more for me than him. We figure he’ll just feel teased by being able to nurse sometimes and not others, so that’s that.

I had to nurse him one more time after the appointment so I could enjoy our last breast feeding session. I made sure to take the time to study his sweet little face, his tiny hand holding onto me and just soak in that last moment of nursing him. I will sorely miss those sweet times, but I am ready to move onward and get the weaning over with.

Last night, I decided not to let him breast feed when he woke up during the night and not to put him in our bed. By 3 a.m., I had been up six times since 10 p.m. Then, at that point, he decided not to go back to sleep at all. He was exhausted, but man can that kid put up a fight! By 5 a.m. I gave up. Of course at that point, he was so overly tired, it didn’t matter what I did- he was ticked off in a major kind of way. He still woke up every 30 minutes or so, which is what has pushed me to the breaking point today. We figure his teeth are hurting, which is why he’s waking up, but then he is demanding that I soothe him once he’s up. We’re switching to Advil from Tylenol tonight to see if that works any better, but hopefully, after he understands that the boobies are no more, things will calm down at night. I plan on pumping a couple times a day until my supply decreases enough to just let things dry up on their own without agonizing boob pain. Now all that’s left to do is… oh yeah, suffer through this week while Knox learns to sleep without me. Should be fun!

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  • Reply Britt

    Yay for you for sticking it out this long! I’m very jealous!! Hopefully you get some sleep! I have an 18 month old that sounds very stubborn like Knox that goes through spells of sleeping well for a week, then she decides she hates sleep and won’t sleep well for about 2 weeks. Parenting is sooo hard! But my 6 month old, is pure bliss when it comes to sleep and well… everything else too! Either I learned my lesson with my first, or it’s true when they say that your first is always your hardest and most stubborn and the second is an angel. I hope I didn’t discourage you when saying my 18 month old still has sleep issuees, just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone!! Good luck!

    January 25, 2011 at 3:48 pm
  • Reply Shelley J

    good luck!

    January 25, 2011 at 4:14 pm
  • Reply Erin

    TOTALY have been there. Except that she rejected the boob BUT we did do the bottle and i was pumping for the bottle. Cold turkey is best for stopping their feeding.

    I did the decreasing on the boobs, got down to one pump a day, then to every other day, then stopped and i still got engourged. I let it go about a week or so then i pumped just once until it didn’t hurt anymore (not until i was empty) and i was good. So don’t think when it’s you’re “LAST PUMP” that you can’t do another… if it hurts bad enough after a few days just pump a little out for relief! good luck!

    January 25, 2011 at 4:38 pm
  • Reply Mrs. Bee

    I will be praying for you- and I don’t mean that in a “haha I’m teasing you” sorta way, I really mean it, I’ll be praying for you because I know this is going to be stressful and test your patience and make you want to pull your hair out but you can do it. You are the parent- he is the child and sometimes things that children think are mean and piss this off are in their best interest and that’s why God made YOU the adult so you can do whats in his best interest because you see things they are too young to understand 😉 Hang in there girl.

    January 25, 2011 at 4:52 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      Thanks! It’s stressful, but hopefully we’ll make it through unscathed.

      January 26, 2011 at 10:37 am
  • Reply Sarah

    I just started reading your blog a little while ago and I totally think you’re doing the right thing by going cold turkey. I think a good nights sleep will do everyone a world of good. Also wanted to see if you had tried Motrin for the teething? That’s what worked the best for my older son. Good luck, I give you a lot of credit for going as long as you did!

    January 25, 2011 at 4:57 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      We haven’t tried Motrin yet, hopefully this Advil is helping, but if not, it’s next on the list! And thank you!

      January 26, 2011 at 10:38 am
  • Reply Kerri

    I feel your pain. We recently night weaned my (co-sleeping, all night marathon nursing) son. The night weaning went fairly well, but it did not get rid of his multiple wake ups per night. So, we are now (at 14 months old) sleep training him (in his crib, instead of our bed). It’s not something I ever wanted to do, but after seeing improvements in just a couple of days, I now know it was necessary. And probably long overdue. He’s not STTN yet, but is able to soothe himself back to sleep most of the time and is sleeping in much longer stretches. I feel like a totally different person. We still have a long road ahead of us, but I feel so encouraged by the progress we’ve made so far.

    (And for the record, we’re not doing cry-it-out. Other methods can be effective too!)

    Good luck…I know it’s not easy!

    January 25, 2011 at 5:46 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      I am hoping it will help us with the night wakings, but if not, I am sure some sort of sleep training (also, not CIO for us either!) will be in our future. Good luck with yours!

      January 26, 2011 at 10:36 am
  • Reply alicia

    Been where you are…it sucks!

    Go to your pharmacy and see if they have any Humphrey’s teething tablets…these are all natural, herbal tablets that dissolve in baby’s mouth – knocks ’em out cold and takes away the pain of teething – they are a BLESSING! I raised all 4 of my kids on them and I would not be sane today without them!

    Good luck – hang in there…this too shall pass!

    January 25, 2011 at 6:10 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      Hyland’s? That’s what we have at home, though they aren’t working as well on this tooth- must be a bad one!

      January 26, 2011 at 10:35 am
  • Reply Casey

    I hope it goes well. It could be teething though. Reese was once upon a time a good sleeper, but no more. I think it’s the teeth. I think Advil works better sometimes…I think Tylenol can make their stomachs hurt sometimes, but we alternate. Advil has a new 8 hour children’s pain reliever, that may help with your nighttime.

    January 25, 2011 at 6:17 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      We have the 8 hour, and I do think it worked better than the Tylenol!

      January 26, 2011 at 10:35 am
  • Reply Nikki Darlin'

    Oh Hun hang in there. He’ll understand soon enough. Stay strong.

    January 25, 2011 at 6:31 pm
  • Reply Katie

    I know how you feel mama. I just gave up breast feeding at the beginning of this month. It was sad, but the bottle is so easy! Besides a tired, at her witts end mommy isn’t going to make Knox any happier during the day. You’re making the right decision, don’t you dare feel bad at all :-) P.S. Advil seems to work better for my son w/ teething, but seems to run out faster. Anyway, you’re a great mama, he’s a lucky boy! (Even when he’s pitching a fit ;-))

    January 25, 2011 at 7:02 pm
  • Reply Deborah Warner

    It is both a happy and sad day.
    “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
    — Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

    January 25, 2011 at 7:09 pm
  • Reply Trish

    I have never commented before, but I have been following for a while. My daughter turned one today and we have had sleep issues. I stopped nursing her cold turkey in December. She is not a good sleeper! I am glad I am not the only one with a one year old who does not sleep! I hope we both get more sleep in the future!

    January 25, 2011 at 7:14 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      Me, too! You’re definitely not alone!

      January 26, 2011 at 10:34 am
  • Reply

    Aww. Hang in there, mama. I was only able to breastfeed for six months and part of me still misses that bonding and he’s 16 months old. I can only imagine how you’re feeling. Thanks for sharing :)

    January 25, 2011 at 9:02 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      That’s going to be the hardest part- missing the bonding aspect of it. I already miss it, and it’s been one day!

      January 26, 2011 at 10:34 am
  • Reply Summer

    I’ve never posted, but followed you and Knox’s story. First, congrats on being so dedicated to breastfeeding and your adorable baby. My girls is just a couple months older than Knox, so I have been able to relate with many of your posts. I only was able to nurse to 4-5 months, but do remember a rough transition. I just want to say hang in there. Of course every baby is different, but I bet that once he knows exactly what will happen when he wakes or is hungry he will eventually get with the program. Whatever you decide is best for him, I would just encourage to stick with that consistantly so he knows what to expect. I also have a very strong willed little kiddo, and consistancy has been our savior…..even when it is really hard. (with obvious exceptions when she is sick, hurt, etc…..) Again, hang in there. You are doing great to have not keeled over and died from lack of sleep and frustration by now!

    January 25, 2011 at 10:43 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      Thanks so much! Hopefully things will even out soon!

      January 26, 2011 at 10:33 am
  • Reply Bren

    Good luck! My best friend went cold turkey as well and she never gave her son a bottle once. We had gone tot he Keys that weekend and I remember her boobs were so engorged I felt so bad for her but I think going cold turkey for her son really helped. He took a sippy no problem since he had had them before but I know emotionally it was hard on her but I think you are making the right decision since Knox is having such a hard time. Keep us posted! Hopefully he can get through this and so can you guys with as little insanity as possible.

    January 25, 2011 at 10:57 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      I think so, too. At least I hope I am! I am feeling the engorgement pain right about now- it’s rough!

      January 26, 2011 at 10:33 am
  • Reply mitzi

    good luck to you!!

    January 26, 2011 at 6:04 am
  • Reply t.bird

    you poor things- good luck! he’ll survive :)

    January 26, 2011 at 8:50 am
  • Reply Erica S

    Going on no sleep is SO HARD. You wonder if you are ever going to sleep again. (You will.) Being a mother is the hardest.thing.ever. There are some things that truly are super easy and then you feel like you had too much luck given to you and you have these long-lasting challenges. You will always remember this, but just like labor, you’ll forget the intensity of it all. When I had my 3rd, lets face it…I was TIRED. I knew what to expect, but man, that exhaustion that came with a newborn AND other children was intense. Getting up in the middle of the night was hard. But, what got me through it was telling myself over and over and OVER again that I wasn’t the only mom nursing a baby in the middle of the night. There were plenty of others moms doing the same thing and I was able to find comfort in that. I needed something to get me through, because watching my husband be all nice and cozy and in the deepest of sleep was TORTURE. There I was, hair all over the freakin’ place and boobs hurting. I wasn’t sure if I should be happy that one of us was getting good sleep or be mad, because only one of us was getting good sleep.

    Hang in there!!! :)

    January 26, 2011 at 9:41 am
    • Reply Jessica

      You’re so brave- I can’t imagine having two other kids and doing this! I know what you mean about the husband sleeping thing- sometimes I look over at Trevor and want to hit him. LOL.

      January 26, 2011 at 10:32 am
  • Reply Tam

    Owen is having a hell of a time with teething right now – I broke down and bought baby oragel nighttime. Worked so far (in addition to advil) Poor little guys and these mean ol’ teeth! Poor Mamas! Good luck with the boobs Mama, mine hurt just thinking about you 😉

    January 27, 2011 at 1:45 am
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