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Clean Slate

After all the issues we’ve had with my dad’s drinking lately, I am thrilled to say that he checked himself into an in-patient rehab while we were on vacation. I felt like it was such an up-hill battle getting him to see things for how they really were. He called me before we left and told me he was planning on going. He sounded really good and told me he’d actually already stopped drinking on his own and realized he needed to do this not only so he didn’t lose his family, but for himself, as well. Once a spot opened up, he checked in. He actually did it.

He was there for just over a week before the doctor released him. He told me they had him in about five meetings a day, gave him some meds to help with the transition and had him go through some very thorough consultations with their doctors. He called me on Tuesday and told me all about his experience, and I have to say, he sounded better than I have heard him sound in years. He sounded hopeful and very optimistic about his future, saying he is signing up for AA meetings and is looking for, and has some leads on, a job. He told me he really wanted to see us, and I agreed to meet with him this weekend. I feel like giving him something to look forward to and strive for will really help him to stay on the right path. I hope it will, anyway.

I talked with my grandmother for a long time the other day, and she confirmed that he, indeed, stopped drinking before he went to the rehab program and that things had been SO much better at their house. She said when he got back, he looked wonderful and refreshed- no more red-face, which is a big sign of his drinking. She said he kept apologizing to her for all the things he had done and said. She said she knew that wasn’t him, it was the alcohol, and it really was. It’s incredible to me how alcohol can change a person and their personality for the worse. Much worse.

I am praying so, so hard that my dad stays sober because he really does have so much to live for. I want to know, for the first time, what it’s like to have a relationship with my father that is POSITIVE. I hope it can happen. I want him to know Knox and for Knox to know him- the real him without any hint of alcoholism.

It was different to hear my dad refer to himself as an alcoholic, having always denied any semblance of a problem. I think being accountable is really the first step to recovery.

What’s crazy is that all of this started to come about after I started really praying for my dad. I put him on our prayer list in Sunday school and even my pastor prayed for him during our meeting. I tell you, prayer works!! Here’s to hoping a solid, new relationship can come out of this situation!

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  • Reply Wifey

    Praise the Lord – what an answer to prayer!!!

    May 26, 2011 at 10:47 am
  • Reply Kelley

    Hi Jessica,

    I just wanted to let you know that I can completely empathize with your situation. My own father has been dealing with a crack cocaine habit for 5 years. He’s been in and out of rehab and we had an OD scare in January that luckily he pulled through. He’s been clean since, thank the Lord, but addiction is something that both you and the person you love has to take day by day. It’s heartbreaking and makes you so angry and feel so helpless. I truly hope that your dad has gotten the help he needs and continues to work the AA program. You and your family are in my prayers!

    May 26, 2011 at 11:07 am
    • Reply Jessica

      Thank you, Kelley! I am so, so glad that your father has gotten cleaned up, I will keep you guys in my prayers, as well!

      May 26, 2011 at 12:00 pm
    • Reply Mickella

      my father also had a 15 year crack problem. he was in and out of rehab through the years. I “BELIEVE” he’s been clean of that for a year now. but now he’s picked up drinking. i’d much rather him drink than smoke crack, but either way… addiction is terrifying. I’m so happy your father has been clean!

      May 26, 2011 at 9:52 pm
      • Reply Jessica

        Mickella, it sounds like you have been through so much with your dad! I hope that he stays off the cocaine and can get off of the alcohol, too. It’s a horrible, horrible cycle.

        May 27, 2011 at 3:01 pm
  • Reply Joy

    That is such great news! I’m so happy for you–and him. I’ll be praying that he finds the strength to continue his sobriety!

    May 26, 2011 at 11:15 am
  • Reply Bridget

    Your battle with your dad sounds just like the one that I have with my mom. My heart breaks for anyone that has to go through and I am praying that this is finally it for your dad.

    May 26, 2011 at 1:05 pm
  • Reply Tiffanie

    Praise God!
    I will pray for his recovery and that y’all get to know eachother without the alcohol!

    May 26, 2011 at 3:56 pm
  • Reply Allyce

    Such a positive post and I am so happy for you! I hope the trend continues!

    May 26, 2011 at 4:36 pm
  • Reply Ashley DaMitz

    Congrats on your dad’s rehab! It’s so great that he made that decision on his own and he is doing so much better! I will continue to pray for him and your family, and I hope that this is the beginning of a brighter future for all of you!

    May 26, 2011 at 6:43 pm
  • Reply Mickella

    I am so happy this is working out for you. I have the same issues and I’m just… I’m done. We have times when we’re good, and then suddenly, one tiny thing can set him off while he’s drunk and it leads me to tears, him to rage, and sometimes the police need to be called or I need to leave the house, etc. Christmas Eve-eve, i ended up calling the police because it sounded like he was beating his girlfriend (our house is a duplex). After they left, he came upstairs and started screaming at me and threatening me. We got better after that after a few weeks, but I told myself that if he goes crazy again… i’m done. unfortunately, a couple of weeks ago he went crazy about something stupid, so i’m moving out. he’s been nothing but rude to me, if he ever even speaks to me. I’m to the point where I don’t want my future children around him, and I don’t want him in my wedding.
    I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU THOUGH!! I hope that, one day, I can be in the same position as you. Alcoholism is a sick, terrible, evil disease. It ruins families, and it causes someone to be someone they’re not. You’re in my thoughts and prayers! :)

    May 26, 2011 at 9:51 pm
  • Reply Jody

    I am so happy for your dad and your family. I really hope for everyone’s sake that he sticks with this & you build a wonderful, healthy relationship. Whenever I read your posts about your dad, I literally was brought to tears. Everything you were saying felt like you were describing my life. Unfortunately, my dad is still in the denial stage of being an alcoholic & he has been one since I was in 5th grade. It is a very hard & sad thing that I don’t talk about often, although it tears at my heart strings so much. You have so much strength to talk about it & put it all out there for everyone. I haven’t had a relationship with my dad for years. I had to cut ties with him to keep myself from getting hurt over and over. I just pray that some day he will, like your dad, see things from a positive perspective & change. I will pray for your dad to stay sober so you can have the father, that everyone deserves. Best of luck to you and your family!

    May 26, 2011 at 10:13 pm
    • Reply Jessica

      Jody, I hope that you are able to develop a relationship with your father one day. It’s incredibly sad what substance abuse can do to a person, and in turn, to their family.

      May 27, 2011 at 3:00 pm
  • Reply Mrs. MidAtlantic

    Wow Jessica! I really hope this is it for your dad, and that Knox grows up with the grandfather he deserves. <3

    May 26, 2011 at 10:29 pm
  • Reply Robbie

    Great news! I agree that giving him something to look forward to will help keep him on the right path. I hope he stays sober and can get to know you guys and Knox the way he should have.

    May 27, 2011 at 2:36 am
  • Reply Gage

    As the daughter of an alcoholic mother (sober for many years now), I completely feel for you. I’m so glad your Dad went to rehab and I will pray for his continued success.

    June 16, 2011 at 8:46 pm
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