Knox’s favorite toys are his Melissa and Doug Nesting and Stacking Alphabet Blocks. We have built thousands of towers with these things, and I must say, it was the best $11.99 I’ve ever spent (even though I actually spent less because they were on sale!). Now that he’s interested in counting, he also points to each block while we count to ten, then he claps. It’s so cute.
In addition to stacking them tall and nesting them inside of each other, Knox loves to hold the smaller blocks while he sits on the floor or watches a movie. I don’t know why, but he also really likes to chew on them. It looks like a mouse got a hold of of each and every one of them with frayed little corners. They’ve definitely seen better days, but he doesn’t seem to mind. They actually make wooden ones, I’ll probably end up getting before he ingests a pound of cardboard.
Last night I was sitting on the couch having some alone time after he was in bed, and next to me on the couch was the smallest “Z” block. It’s Knox’s favorite one, and he almost always keeps it nested inside the “WXY” block. I picked it up, looked at that tiny block all covered in tiny tooth marks and totally lost it! It just hit me like a ton of bricks (or blocks in this case) how much I love that little boy. The power of love is truly incredible, and sometimes, I feel like I just can’t contain all the feelings I have for him. Who would have thought a chewed-up toy would have made me freak out like that?! Of course, then, I start worrying about him, nothing specific, just in general. Because that’s what I do.
When I was pregnant with Knox, I cried almost daily and had new paranoid fears creep up every five seconds or so. I worried about him constantly and was a total wreck. With this pregnancy, I worry a good 90% LESS than I did the first time (thank you, God!), but I find it so strange that the cause of my worry isn’t always this new baby: it’s still Knox. That’s not to say I don’t have my moments daily of worry for this new baby, too, because I do, but the brunt is still over Knox. I guess since he’s here and I can touch and hold him now, it’s easier for my worry to find him as a landing place. That poor guy- his mother is never going to stop obsessing over him.
For right now, I am just going to concentrate on enjoying the here and now and having faith that everything will work out according to God’s plan. I am so thankful for this pregnancy, and also so thankful for the lack of mega-anxiety that I experienced before. I can honestly say that I am enjoying this time, not worrying it away. While I can’t wait to meet this new baby next year, I am also treasuring these last few months of having my little guy as my only child and making sure to dote on him as much as possible- and that includes building lots of towers with Knox’s blocks.
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