Oh my gosh, why didn’t I buy groceries yesterday.

This is a note to say that if I don’t blog ever again, it’s because I have died of starvation. We had zero food in the house this morning, so aside from coffee and a bite of Knox’s banana, I am running on empty. I was going to stop on the way to work, but Screamy McGee forbade me from pulling into any drive-thru. At that point, I had to make a choice: listen to crying that would make me bleed from the ears for five more minutes or forgo eating breakfast. I chose sanity over nourishment. This may have been a fatal error.

I have scavenged my office and my bag, and I am not proud to say that I just ate an expired Baby Mum Mum. So the chance that I may come down with some sort of expiration disease won’t even be worth it because, well, those things melt and do absolutely nothing to satiate hunger. I am *this* close to eating Brody’s lunch. However, that would make me feel horrendously guilty (and probably nauseated), so I have resorted to eating Splenda packets that I found in my mom’s desk. I am currently drinking a glass of water with two Splendas. This is an indication of how freaking hungry I am because I do not use artificial sweeteners, but I figured it would be better to do that than pass out. I keep telling myself this is what Bear Grylls would do as I scour the place looking for a source of “food energy.”

For the love of all things good, someone please bring me a doughnut.

That is all, and if this kid would ever stop crying or someone else would get here, maybe I could go somewhere to feed myself.┬áThat is the end of my “coffee break” AKA blog break. Note to self: next time, choose food.

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5 thoughts on “Oh my gosh, why didn’t I buy groceries yesterday.

  1. Elizabeth

    Ha! I know this isn’t funny for you but it is kinda funny to read (as I am eating my breakfast-sorry, I know, I am so mean). If I were in the same state as you I would so bring you something. Maybe you could order some delivery? If your anything like me you prob don’t have any cash.

    Reply
    1. Jessica Post author

      Elizabeth, yes, you are very mean. LOL. Nothing delivers over here, aside from pizza, and none of those places are open yet. There is a drug store across the street that I’m contemplating walking to with this tyrant of a child who is in the worst mood ever. Then again, I probably shouldn’t try to contend with traffic in my current mental state!

      Reply
  2. Megan

    I love you! I don’t mean to laugh but the vision of you withering away as you sip Splenda water is making me giggle a little bit. Poor girl! I can so relate to “Screamy McGee” in the car. Would someone please tell our children it is really not so bad back there? Sheesh. Get some food soon, Mama – I would bring you some if I didn’t live thousands of miles away! :(

    Reply
  3. Laura

    I’ve been having the same issue lately, although I always choose food over anything else. Hmm, what does that say about me? I’ve been getting to work really late because a) I can’t get out of the house on time with a baby and toddler, and b) I have no food in my house and simply cannot function without stopping for more coffee and some breakfast. I need a grocery/cooking fairy to visit me. Hope you get to eat something soon!

    Reply

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