I struggle with ideals. Before I had children, I had so many ideas about the kind of mother that I would be. I would cloth diaper, breast feed, make my own cleaning products and bake all the time. My house would be clean, my kids would smell great and be well dressed. I’d do crafts with them, teach them to bake cookies from scratch and help them memorize Bible verses. I managed to do some of those things, but I was left lacking.
Aren’t we all?
We will never meet our own standards because “our” standards aren’t our own.
We are not meant to do everything perfectly all the time.
Maybe I’m a good cook, but I am not an activity mom. Meaning, I don’t excel at planning cute activities for my kids to do or thinking up a creative game to play with kitchen utensils and glitter. I’m more of a “get your tail outside before I chase you out with the broom” kind of mom.
Maybe I was successful in nursing both of my boys for over a year, but my youngest still doesn’t sleep through the night. Neither of my children were ever on a sleeping schedule… hence my growing dependence on caffeine.
I’m great at snuggling with and smooching on my boys when they get hurt or are scared, but I am super impatient and cannot stand potty training. The idea of taking Knox to the bathroom 41 times a day makes me want to flee the country.
I love to read books to them before bed and I enjoy that time, but I struggle with the mundane activities of every day (like searching for and putting on toddler shoes and brushing teeth) and do not feel like a nice mom a lot of the time with a hot temper and short fuse (because where do they keep hiding those tiny socks??!).
Ladies, we are setting ourselves up for failure by constantly comparing ourselves and our children to other women and their kids. Why can’t we ever cut ourselves some slack? God designed us as individuals, and one day, I will learn that’s a good thing. Maybe not today, but one day I will accept myself for who I am and learn to build my own expectations and goals without borrowing them from other people. Your ideal doesn’t have to be mine, and mine doesn’t have to be yours. That’s the beauty of life: God gave us the choice to make it our own.
This work, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License.